


The Lens of Crisis

by Blimey54



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-01-29 11:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21409240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blimey54/pseuds/Blimey54
Summary: Sometimes, only pain can break the stubborn. Only panic can reveal the truth. Sometimes love reveals itself through the lens of crisis.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 20
Kudos: 285





	1. Injury

Chapter 1

“Set her there.” Lena said tersely, already tapping on her tablet for vital readings from Supergirl’s augmented suit. 

J’onn and Alex gingerly placed the injured Kryptonian on the steel table underneath bright sun lamps, the older sister lingering to swipe blonde bangs away from a badly scraped forehead. 

“Hey.” Alex muttered. “You’re going to be alright.” 

“It burns Alex.” Kara gritted, her hand holding tight to her ruptured torso, green viscous liquid still oozing through her spread fingertips.

“I’ve got it.” Lena interrupted, holding a device close to the injury which seemed to dissolve the kryptonite. 

“L-lena..” Kara’s pupils dilated as she shifted her gaze to her erstwhile best friend. “I-“ 

“Just let me do this Kara.” Lena bit out with venom. 

Alex gripped her sister’s hand tightly. “Hang in there.” 

“I need to extract the bullet. Now.” Lena finally met the superhero’s eyes. “I don’t have any way to numb-“ 

“Just do it.” Kara closed her eyes. “I trust you.” 

Lena stared for a second too long, finally moving when Kara opened her eyes again in confusion at the lack of action.

Lena picked up retractors and handed them to Alex, who promptly turned to J’onn to have him hold the injured Kryptonian still. 

“Expose the bullet so I can get to it. I have to use these to get to it before it ruptures into her blood stream.” Lena held up specialized forceps that held a containment unit Alex suspected was made specifically for this purpose. The billionaire’s intense gaze told Alex that this was a one time shot before things turned dire.

Alex ignored Kara’s scream as she separated her flank with the surgical tool and moved quickly to expose a glowing green bullet the size of her pinky finger lodged in between two ribs.   
Lena absently noted that Kara’s ribs were connected differently than humans as she quickly reached in to capture the lethal projectile and snapped it into the lead containment shield within the forceps.   
“Got it.” She muttered as she leaned back. 

Alex quickly released the tools, and both makeshift surgeons stared as muscle and sinew wove itself back together under the healing power of the sunlamp. 

The wound continued to bleed and slowed its mending as it got closer to the skin, causing Lena to lean in closer with her plastic eyeglasses fogging slightly in the process. “There’s some in her blood.” The genius concluded. “I need to transfuse her to clean it out.”

Alex sat up fully as Kara moaned in pain, her eye opening slightly. “How are we going to do that?” 

Lena turned to the briefcase she’d brought with her when Winn called in a panic with the news that Kara was losing in the field to a pack of enemies with upgraded kryptonite weaponry. 

“With this.” Lena clicked open the lid and drew out a black case. “I made an IVC filter out of harun-el. We can implant this arthroscopically and then filter her blood through it to capture and extract the kryptonite – it’s molecules should catch in the harun-el.” 

“I am not implanting that near my sister’s lung – she could-“

“Do it Alex.” Kara muttered, barely conscious.

“Kara.” Alex’s eyes widened. “This could give you a PE – you could die Kara. I know you trust her but she can’t possibly know that you’ll-“ 

“Do it anyway.” Kara swallowed deeply and reached blindly, capturing Lena’s hand in her own. The scientist only flinched momentarily before conceding the contact and squeezing back, giving Kara her eyes. 

“It will work” Lena sounded more certain than she felt. 

“I know.” Kara smiled through her pain and let her thumb brush lightly over the younger woman’s knuckle. She let out a deep breath. “Can’t die yet.” She muttered quietly as she started to lose consciousness from the pain. “You have to forgive me first.” 

Lena felt a tear burn at the corner of her eye and her chin warbled before she stood sharply and reached for her instruments.


	2. A dash of truth

Chapter 2

Alex swiveled the club chair and the resultant slosh of the coffee in her cup signaled her frustration to Lena. 

“You’re a genius, right?” Alex raised her eyebrows, which somewhat amused Lena for a moment, her own eyebrow often the subject of one of Alex’s barbs. 

“So they say.” The billionaire replied testily. 

Alex scoffed. “Uh huh.” 

“What’s your point?” 

“I’m just amazed. How someone so brilliant…can be so fucking stupid.” 

Lena’s startled laugh carried out her words. “I-I’m sorry?” 

“You really don’t get it do you?” 

Lena furrowed in confusion as Alex lightly set her mug down and crossed her arms over her chest. 

Alex continued, “Kara gets the shit kicked out of her all the time.” Lena flinched immediately upon hearing the name and knowing what was to be the subject of this little interaction. She started to stand and sigh when Alex leaned forward with intent and pain in her voice. “She’s almost died…so many times…” Lena paused her movement and stared. “And every time I think...what if this is the time? What if this is when someone takes her from me?” Alex’s lip quivered a bit, pulling an invisible band stretched tight in Lena’s throat. 

“But she gets up.” Alex shakes her head with a small smile and sinks back into her chair and swivels a little in anxiety. “She gets up…sometimes after a long time under that.” Alex gestures vaguely to the yellow sun lamps where Kara rests quietly, eyes tightened slightly in pain. “But she gets up, and when she does, she’s doing it for me.” She smiles a little. “She does it for the people who need her, who believe in her.”   
Lena nodded, letting impassiveness show on her face despite how she felt her blood react to Alex’s words and bring back the pain of the loss of her friend. 

“She goes back, all the time, over and over…and she always fights to come back to me. To our family. Because she knows…she knows that I can’t do this without her.” Alex scrunches a watery half smile to the side as she tends to do when she gets emotional. 

Lena exhales, nodding, ready to stand again and go back to the screen on the wall to check her readouts. 

“But what you don’t get…” Alex stops her with those words. “What is so painfully obvious to everyone but you... is that Kara? She may stand back up for all of us.” Alex leans forward with her punchline. “But Kara breathes…for you.” 

Lena felt all the air rush out of her and her heart stutter to a stop for a second as blood rushed across her face. She froze as Alex went on, tearing pieces of Lena along with her. 

“Every breathe she takes, is wrapped up in you. Since you met. And now…she can’t eat, she can’t sleep, her panic attacks are genuinely the worst I’ve ever seen them.” Alex picks her mug back up and takes a sip as if she’s not flaying Lena open in front of her. “She’s standing sentinel over you, basking in the pain, writhing in it.” Alex sips. “If it were me, I’d have run away. As soon as you broke my heart, I would have run and hid, tried to make it go away or at least try to find some escape from the constant anger coming off of you.” 

Alex was on a roll now, setting her mug down again as a tear welled in Lena’s eye. “You aren’t subtle you know. All the hostility, constantly reminding her that you’re here in spite of her. Never letting a moment pass when you aren’t crystal clear that she hurt you and that you won’t forgive her for it.” 

The tear escaped Lena on that one and more followed. 

“But she stays. And don’t kid yourself. She isn’t staying for me or for the people of National City. She stays because you’re in danger. She floats next to your building, all night. Every night. Did you know that?” 

“No.” Lena whispers. 

“She breathes for you. And she keeps breathing all of this in, all of this….god, this toxic, ridiculous mess, so that she can be there in the one moment that you need her to be. Whether you want her to be or not.” 

“She deceived me, Alex. So intricately, for so long. I was right to be angry. I am right to be angry.” Lena defended herself, clenching her jaw and fisting a hand on her knee. 

Alex nodded, “Yes you are. You are, Lena. You’re right to be angry, at all of us.” She waved an arm around. “Me most of all.” 

“Why you?” Lena frowned. 

Alex sighed. “Because I’ve spent almost fifteen years as Kara’s lifeline, her tether to any shred of humanity, her coach, her sister, her defender. That’s my job.”   
Lena shook her head, not following. 

“Kara is…. conditioned…in some ways, to let me protect her. To listen to me. To let me guide her through a life that, despite her abilities, is very dangerous for her.”   
Lena nodded, agreeing. 

“And I told her, and kept telling her, never to tell you.” Alex let that hang in midair and saw shock and betrayal run across Lena’s face as she sat back. 

“Why- why would you do that?” Lena hardened. “I…I have proven over and over that I’m not-“ 

“It isn’t because you’re a Luthor.” 

Lena raised her left eyebrow, showing her skepticism. 

Alex held up a hand, “Okay it hasn’t been because you are a Luthor in a very long time.” 

“Then why?” 

“Because I knew that you’d do this. I knew that you’re like me. You’d be hurt, feel betrayed, collapse in on yourself, and harden.” Alex took a breath. “It’s how people like you and me survive. Me, because I was always hiding or ignoring being gay. “ 

The redhead waved at Lena, “You because, well…. I’m guessing that part IS because you’re a Luthor. That had to suck.” 

Lena scoffed a laugh, nodding with the truth of it. “You have no idea.” 

“I didn’t want you to take away Kara’s only real friendship. You were the only one that ever sized her up as a human, and saw what an amazing heart she has, and chose…her.” Alex frowned at Lena’s renewed tear tracks. “I thought I was helping her. I thought I was helping her keep something normal.” Alex sighed. “But I was wrong and I’m sorry. I really am Lena. Because if I’d known what I know now I would have told her it was okay to tell you the first time she said she wanted to, after you decided not to release the detection device.” 

The breath was stolen again by Alex’s words and Lena’s eyes widened as she sat back. “B-back then?” 

“Yes. And I’ve lost count of how many times she’s said it since then.”

Alex stood, picking up her mug and heading for the door. 

“What is it?” Lena questioned, drawing a confused look from Alex. 

“What?” 

“The thing that you know now that you didn’t all the times before.” Lena offered. 

Alex smiled and shook her head. “That she’s in love with you.” 

Lena again felt the blush rush up her face and her heart stutter. 

Alex turned and let her words float behind her as she left. “Genius, they say.”   
\--


	3. 3

“Video’s in.” Said the lean and handsome DEO agent that poked his head in the door to alert Alex. 

She nodded and turned away from the wall panel of statistics and vital signs monitoring Kara’s progress under the sun lamps. 

“Video?” Lena muttered automatically out of curiosity. 

“We used a satellite feed to monitor the battle. But she has her comms and we have a camera imbedded in her sigil. It helps her train so we download the data after she fights.”   
Lena’s eyebrows rose and her mouth opened a little. 

“You want to...?” Alex inclined her head toward the command center. 

Lena nodded, picking up her tablet. She swiped her hand from the wall panels down, and the moving diagnostics appeared on the tablet. 

“Okay?” Alex nodded at the device. 

“She’s fine.” Lena nodded. “Should actually wake up soon so just wanted to take it with us in case she does.”  
—  
“What have you got?” Alex announced as she entered the pit, commanding her authority as much with her personality as her rank. 

Vasquez stepped up next to her with a tablet and the large wall screen flickered before showing video of the city moving rapidly, presumably below Kara’s chest.   
“It’s about twenty minutes before it cuts out - the camera is damaged and then we have audio only for a couple of minutes. Best guess just a few seconds before J’onn got to her.”

“Alright,” Alex nodded solemnly as Lena stared at the screen.

“Hey!” Kara’s voice boomed out of the feed, causing Lena to jump. The super’s voice echoed a little from the video - the footage tilting as she landed on the ground in front of three figures in black tactical gear who were attempting to open a warehouse door.

“Is that my nano tech warehouse?” Lena inquired, stepping forward a little and squinting at the security panels that the thieves were trying to bypass.

“Yes.” Alex answered firmly. 

Lena stared at her incredulously. 

Alex shrugged. “She told us not to tell you when she fights for you - unless we need to.”

Lena shut her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “God dammit.” She whispered. 

“I’m only going to tell you one more time to get away from that door.” Kara’s voice cut across, drawing everyone’s attention. 

Lena blinked as one of the figures stalked toward Supergirl, the fabric on his forearms suddenly starting to glow green.   
Kara’s grunt was audible when she blocked his punch.

“Alex.” The voice cracked. “Kryptonite.” 

The camera picked up a staticky answer that was indecipherable and Lena heard Alex breathe uncomfortably next to her as she recalled what the conversation had been.   
Kara’s breathing came increasingly heavy as she fought with her assailant, dodging swings and landing retaliatory strikes in return. Finally, her boot came into view as she delivered a kick across the criminal’s jaw. He flew backward and Lena felt a little thrill of victory until she remembered why they were standing there in the first place. 

The second man abandoned his buddy who was still trying to hack his way through the Lcorp locks. Lena tried to see what kind of computer he had connected to the key pads. The CEO recalled that her nano warehouse had not only 24 hour armed guards, which were apparently disabled, but also biometric locks and failsafes assigned to only her chiefs of lab research and Lena herself. The camera in Kara’s chest, however, was not cooperating as Kara darted out of the way of a large green blade and the door disappeared from Lena’s view. Lena and Alex both took a sharp breath when they heard Kara cry out a second after the next slash, and the kryptonite dagger came away bloody. 

Alex peered at Lena,confused. 

“A gash we didn’t see?” the CEO offered. 

Knowing that they’d addressed the most critical injuries, they turned back to the screen to see the camera indicate that Kara appeared to be wavering. Her arm came into view, and crimson blood was flowing down her wrist. 

“Who are you?” Kara backed away from the knife man, as he perilously flipped the weapon around in his hand. Alex tilted her head, noting the dexterity indicated the man had been professionally trained. 

“I’m the guy that killed Supergirl.”

“Amazing.” They heard Kara chuckle lightly as she seemed to be gaining a bit of strength as she circled away from the blade. “I’ve met like a dozen guys with that same name.”

He circled back, trying to get close enough to strike. She dodged the other way to keep as far from the green material as possible. 

“What do you want in there?”

“What I’m paid to retrieve - no more no less.”

Lena leaned in, now intrigued at what was clearly a targeted and financed effort. 

“And what is that?”

The man sneered, squinting and flipping his blade. 

“You don’t know do you?” She heard Kara’s grin in her tone. 

“She doesn’t need me to know.” The blade man sneered again, clearly annoyed at Supergirl’s lack of respect for him. 

“She...”Kara hesitated. “Lillian.” She offered, not in the form of a question. “You’re CADMUS.”

He smiled and tilted his head. 

“Almost got it.” Lena heard the third man say, although it appeared he was talking into a mic at his throat rather than his compatriot. 

“What does Lillian want with LCorp research?” 

“It’s mine” came a cold voice behind the super. 

Lena’s blood ran cold, watching in what felt like slow motion as Kara’s torso turned in time to see a flash from the pistol in Lillian Luthor’s hand. 

Lena gasped and grabbed at her own stomach where the bullet struck the Super. 

The camera stumbled back, as Kara’s feet faltered. A shutter in the frame and tinny noise indicated Kara’s back had made contact with one of the empty metal loading containers that were near the loading dock. The camera slowly drew parallel to the ground as Kara slid down to the ground. 

Lena watched her mother draw closer, a smirk firmly in place. She turned the gun in her hand. “Lex really was very good at dreaming up ways to kill you two.” She showed Kara the pistol as she drew within five feet. “You like it?”

Kara muttered “Alex I’m down.”

“Alex? The sister?” Lillian grinned. 

“Wh-?!” Lena spun to Alex. “How does -“

“Leave my sister out of this Lillian.” Kara shifted. 

“Hard to do considering she keeps standing in between me and what I’m trying to do. I think maybe it’s best if I remove her from the equation - permanently.”

Kara snarled but Lillian interrupted. 

“After you of course. And...Lena.”

Lena narrowed her eyes, used to her mother’s attempts on her life but unaccustomed to hearing her openly admit it. 

Kara coughed “If you so much as touch Lena...”her voice was razor sharp, “I will beat you to death I swear to-“

“Ooo.” Lillian stood straighter “My. My.” She smiled. “You’re getting rather aggressive Kara.” 

“How does my mother know that she’s-“ Lena tried to unpack Lillian’s insight into Supergirl’s identity.

“Since when do you consider killing, Kara?” Lillian tisked. “Not very heroic.”

“I don’t give a shit.” Kara bit out. 

Lena looked as taken aback as Lillian but not nearly as amused. 

“You have no reason to -“ Kara stopped, hissing, as Lillian stepped forward and pushed the green tipped barrel of the pistol into the superhero’s neck. Lena could hear the sizzle it caused as it singed her skin. 

“You don't know my reasons.” Lillian at last looked like her composure slipped. 

“Then take me with you.” Kara muttered. 

Lillian stepped back and laughed. “What?” 

Kara audibly swallowed. “Take me. I’ll heal from this bullet, and then you can...” 

“I can what?” Lillian eyed her. “Kill you later instead of now?” 

“I’ll let you do your research.” Kara muttered 

“Kara!” Alex shrieked as if her sister could hear her, stepping forward to lean on the computer terminal in front of her. 

“I’m in.” Muttered the computer armed thief. Lillian turned her head to acknowledge her henchmen who’d just opened the back door of the secured facility. 

Kara drew her attention back. “I’ll show you how to build equipment that makes my skin vulnerable. You can do your experiments on me.” Lillian’s eyes widened. “If you leave Lena alone.”

“Why on earth would I believe you would do such a thing? You’re playing at-“

“I’m not playing at anything Lillian.” Kara said firmly. “That’s the deal.It would even be legal.” 

“Why would you consent?” 

“Why?” Lena whispered, echoing her mother’s confusion. 

“That’s my concern.” Kara choked. 

Lillian squinted in confusion, before smirking. “For Lena?” She chuckled. Kara hummed in agreement. 

“I notice you didn’t offer yourself in exchange for your sister.”

“That too.” Kara muttered. “The two of them - and my mother. Off limits.” 

“Those three...interesting.”

“Unlike you Lillian, I love my family.”

Lena felt tears rush to her eyes and she found herself stumbling to stand next to Alex, leaning against her side in shock. 

“Last I checked....Lena was mine.”

The camera shifted as Kara hoisted herself back up the container, and Lillian took a step back in caution. 

“Lena.” Kara bit out. “Belongs to herself.” 

Lena swallowed deeply. 

“She is not yours. We love her.” Kara’s voice quavered. 

“Oh.” Lillian smirked. “I see.” She let the pause sit. “You..... Not we. You love her.”

Lena felt her heart constrict when a resultant wheezing cough sent blood across the frame.  
\---


	4. 4

Chapter 4

“We’ve got it.” The first of the two thieves shouted as they exited the door back out to where Lillian leaned over Kara with the kryptonite gun. 

“What is it?” Alex turned to Lena in the control room. 

“Carbon nanotubes.” Lena recognized the case. “They’re a way to improve on tubes that use platinum. Increase electric conductivity, strength...”Lena sighed. “She could use them for a thousand things.

“I’ll meet you in the truck.” Lillian replied, turning back to Kara and squatting down next her. The mad scientist gripped her pistol and held it across her knees. 

“So you love my daughter.”

Lena felt a stab of pain and tears pool.

“I-“ Kara couldn’t continue. 

Lillian shook her head, her smirk finally falling. “Save me from these children.” 

“God save her from you.” Kara choked out. 

“Is she sleeping with you?” 

“Shit.” Alex whispered, refusing to shift her eyes to look at Lena.

“No.” Kara muttered. “She hates me. Just like you said she would.” 

Lena frowned again in confusion, but definitely capturing that Kara and her mother had apparently had an extensive conversation about the young CEO before. 

“Then why would you offer to let me test you?” Lillian genuinely seemed confused. 

“I..” The camera panned slightly as Kara looked down at her hand that was covering her wound. It was drenched in a mix of her blood and the green viscous kryptonite. 

“Tell me.”

“No.” Kara hardened. 

“I’m going to kill you anyway.” 

“Then do it. I’m not going to die giving you anything else to hurt her.” 

Lillian sighed, looking up at the sky and then back at Kara. “It was always inevitable Kara. I told you. No matter when you told her, no matter what you said, she was always going to hate you. You were just delaying the inevitable.” 

“That’s...that’s not...” Lena whispered. “True..it’s not.” She finished weakly, not believing her own words. 

“And she hates me — just like you said. So get on with it Lillian.” 

“And yet you’re still wanting to sacrifice yourself for her.” Lillian stated. “You know..it isn’t comfortable, my science.” 

“It’s torture. Don’t be obtuse.” Kara wheezed. 

Lillian raised her eyebrows in a form of begrudging respect. 

The truck pulled up with a window down. “We have to go. They’re inbound. Are we taking her?” The henchman ask, ready to unbuckle his seatbelt to come hoist the injured Kryptonian into the vehicle. 

“No.” Lillian stood, taking backward steps to the truck and gripping her pistol tighter. She pointed it at Kara’s head. 

“Alex.” Whispered Kara, “I love you. Tell Mom. Tell....tell Lena.”

Lillian flinched, her jaw tightening. 

Suddenly, the tall scientist turned and entered the vehicle, slamming the door. “Tell my daughter I said goodbye.” She muttered, and was gone in the night. 

A choked sob came out of Kara’s video feed as the injured woman slumped back from facing her death. 

“Shit.” Kara whispered, again looking to her hands as they tried to stem the flow. Another crackle in the ear comms and Kara answered. “I don’t think I’m going to make it...until then.”  
The camera moved again as Kara took a halting breath. 

“Don’t tell her Alex.” She whispered. “It isn’t fair. Just...tell her I’m sorry. She deserved better.” 

The crackle came back again slightly louder, but Kara ignored it. 

A whooshing noise erupted off camera and suddenly, the Green Martian flew over head. The camera feed sputtered out, and only Kara’s labored breathing was heard.   
“ i zhao,” she whispered. “L-Lena.”

“Hang on.” J’onn muttered as he picked her up, the wind picking up as he increased his speed. The feed cut entirely. 

“What did she say?” Lena whispered, her head dipping so that only Alex could hear her in the quiet command room. 

Alex looked at her sadly. 

“What does that mean...i zhao....what does that mean, Alex?” 

Alex shook her head and walked away. 

Lena followed her down the hallway, her heels clacking loudly and bouncing sound off of the metal walls. “Alex.” 

“No.” Alex half turned her head but kept walking. 

When they reached the door to the med bay, Lena stopped and pleaded. 

“Alex please.” Lena felt tears escape and roll over her cheek. “Please, tell me. What did Kara mean...i zhao...what does that mean?” 

Alex’s shoulders slumped but she didn’t turn to face the CEO. 

A new voice sounded a few feet from them. “It means ‘my love.’” 

Both women turned to take in Dr. Eliza Danvers, her hair windswept and a doctor’s satchel over her shoulder. 

“Mom.” Alex took several steps to meet the older woman and pull her into a hug. 

“J’onn came to get me after you called.” 

“You want to see her?” Alex offered.

The two Danvers women then pulled on the glass door and walked in to see their injured family member sleeping under the sun lamp as the last of the poison was filtered out of her system. 

Lena stared, unmoving, her fingers creaking the case of the tablet she still held. She turned it toward her face, seeing vital signs zip across the screen in a steady beat. They were slightly higher than a few minutes ago, indicating Kara was getting closer to coming out of it. 

Lena tapped at the envelope at the top right corner of the screen, seeing the upload of the camera feed video onto their joint server. She clicked on it, and dragged the bar to last few seconds of the recording.   
“ - deserved better..” came Kara’s pain laced voice again. After a few beats, “i zhao..L-Lena.” 

Lena lowered the tablet and leaned forward onto the glass to keep her feet under her. The glass felt cool against her forehead, but her panic laced breaths blew fog onto the barrier between her and the medical unit taking care of their patient. 

“Dammit Kara.” She whispered.  
\--


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“I’m going to go get Mom settled at Kara’s place.” Alex came into Lena’s field of vision as the CEO typed away at a computer. 

“Okay.” Lena muttered, brow furrowing. 

“What is it?” The doctor lingered. 

Lena shook her head. “Nothing that I can see. She...I just think she should have woken up by now.”

“It happens sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“When she takes a hard beat...sometimes she just takes a while to come back. Afterwards she says it’s like meditating.” Alex looked over her shoulder at her sister resting comfortably, her suit having been removed in favor of minimal garments to increase exposure to the sun rays. 

“What do you think she’s thinking about?” 

Alex grinned, and then backed away. “See you in an hour. I’ll bring food.”

Lena sighed, turning back to her laptop. 

Ten minutes after the Danvers pair left, Lena heard a tone from the wall monitors. She glanced up to see Kara’s heart rate steadily climbing back into the sixties. 

The brunette swung her eyes to the sun station and saw Kara raise her arm. Lena was through the partition door and by her side in seconds. 

“Kara?” She asked. “Can you hear me?” 

Kara frowned and then blinked her eyes open, finding Lena’s hazel stare full of worry. 

“Hey.” Kara muttered, wincing a bit.

“Are you in pain?” 

Kara shook her head a little. “I think just stiff.” She slowly pushed herself to her elbows. “Guess you got the bullet.”   
Kara smiled sadly when Lena nodded. “Knew you would.” She continued upward motion until she was sitting up, her sculpted abdominal muscles clenching in the process. Kara looked down to the fading scar on her torso and touched it lightly. “A new one for the collection I guess.”

“Don’t joke about that.” Lena muttered with emotion in her voice. 

Kara swallowed, surprised at the color in Lena’s voice. It had been so long since it carried anything except indifference or immense anger, Kara didn’t know how to react. “I’m sorry.” She offered. 

Lena stood. “I’ll get you some water.” She walked to the side station and reached into a refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. “Hope?” She called to the AI in her laptop as she handed the water over. 

“Yes?” Came the modulated reply. 

“Please text Dr. Danvers that Kara is awake and responsive.” 

“Yes, Dr. Luthor.” 

“Are you hungry?” Lena asked the injured woman. 

“Yea.” Kara nodded in confusion, still trying to ascertain why Lena was still there. By her estimation of the CEO’s feelings, she would have left right after she snagged that bullet out of Kara’s abdomen. 

“Hope, add to the text that Dr. Danvers should bring her sister some food.” 

“I will do that Dr. Luthor.” 

Kara coughed a little, holding her side. She glanced around a bit. “Is there something I can put on?” 

Lena nodded, “I’ll grab your suit.” 

“Not that.” Kara said rather forcefully, drawing Lena’s attention. 

“Please?” Kara continued, her chin warbling a little. “I don’t want to be Supergirl with you.” 

Lena took steps back toward the Kryptonian. “She is you, Kara. We’re both well aware of that fact now.” 

Kara shook her head in the negative. “Supergirl doesn’t even feel like me anymore.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Kara stayed silent. Tears gathered. 

Lena reached and clicked off the sun lamp. She sighed as she sat next to Kara on the platform. 

“Kara...I didn’t...”Lena wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I didn’t know that you- I didn’t realize how you felt. Let me start there.” Lena reached and covered Kara’s hand, drawing a small gasp out of the super. “I think...I think we have a lot that we need to talk about.” 

“O-okay...” Kara said warily, not entirely following. 

“I’m still angry. I can’t...it’s hard to just stop.” 

“I understand.” Came the defeatist reply from Kara. 

“But I...I think if I’m really honest about myself...”Lena took a deep breath. “I think I have to acknowledge that you didn’t tell me because you know me so well. And you knew how I would react. How I did react.” 

Kara didn’t reply. 

“There’s a lot for me to unpack there.” Lena muttered, drawing her hand back when she realized she was running her thumb over Kara’s knuckles. 

Lena could see the cloudy thoughts running through Kara’s eyes, and knew she was going to have to put her on the spot. 

“The video...the camera in your sigil.”Lena muttered, meeting the hero’s eyes. “I’ve seen it.” 

Kara’s eyes closed and she pulled her hand away. “Oh.” She whispered. 

The taller woman pushed herself to her feet and walked to a metal cabinet. Striding in just a black bra and boy short microfiber underwear left plenty of room for the muscles to ripple as she walked.  
She reached in and grabbed a pair of black tactical pants, sliding them on. She followed with a long sleeve compression shirt that matched and started to walk barefoot to the door. 

“Kara.” Lena said quietly, stopping her. 

“You were never supposed to hear that.” 

“Which part?” Lena said boldly, standing with a little indignation at being kept in the dark again. “The part where you would let yourself be tortured by my mother’s sick experiments? The part where you apparently have almost died more times than anyone can seem to count?” She stepped up next to the tall, but muted superhero. “Or the part where you never bothered to tell me that you’re in love with me?” 

Kara’s face turned crimson in embarrassment. 

She turned her face away, as if Lena’s words had struck her. 

Lena grabbed a fistful of the shirt above Kara’s clavicle and pulled, but made no headway in making eye contact. She then reached with her other hand for Kara’s face and pulled and finally the super relented by turning her face toward her best friend, albeit with her eyes still downcast. 

“Why?” Lena whispered. “Why would you never want me to know that?” She pulled the woman a little closer. “Why wouldn’t you say that out loud?” 

Kara snorted but didn’t look up. “You might hear me.”   
\--


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

“Kara” Lena exhaled on a sigh. “You know me...we should have talked about this.” 

Kara winced in pain. “I..I can’t. I couldn’t.” 

“Why not?” It didn’t escape Lena’s attention that she hadn’t let go of the taller woman’s jaw or shirt. 

“I was hiding too much already. I couldn’t tell you one thing without the other...and no matter what, it ends the same way.” Kara looked up at her sadly. “It always ended with you hating me.” Tears dripped, and her chin warbled with a barely contained sob. “And...I..I just..I didn’t want to lose you.” 

Lena frowned in her own emotional pain and sighed, finally understanding. Kara couldn’t tell her. She now realized everything that Kara had to lose, and everything she was denying herself in order not to lose it. The CEO pulled again on the shirt and wrapped the taller woman into a hug. Kara’s sob finally let loose and her arms wrapped around Lena’s torso. She tucked her face against the smaller woman’s shoulder as the emotion wracked her body. 

Lena held on as tight as she could, feeling the anger peel away from her to be replaced by regret. “Oh, Kara...I’m sorry.” Lena sighed. “I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me.” 

Kara cried harder, fisting the back of Lena’s blouse as if she were afraid the CEO would disappear. “P-please...please don’t go.” She sobbed, “please don’t leave me.” 

Lena’s tears erupted, seeing how much her vengeance and anger had truly injured the woman she held. 

“I’m so sorry I hurt you like this Kara.” Lena whispered. “I didn’t mean for it to be this - I didn’t know it would be this much. I just- I was so angry....I thought..” she squeezed as her own emotion colored her voice, “I thought I wasn’t important enough to you for you to tell me. I didn’t know.” 

Kara cried and shook her head in the negative. She squeezed as hard as she dared without bruising the smaller woman. “No...you’re....you’re everything Lena.” 

Lena’s eyes closed with the gravity of it. Finally, she muttered “You’re everything to me too.”   
—   
“Should we go in?” Alex asked her mother as she stared wide eyed into the med bay. 

“I don’t think so, no.” Eliza smiled. “Seems like a rather large moment.” 

Alex smirked at her mom. “You know, for an old lady you’re pretty progressive.” 

Eliza raised her eyebrows. “Oh you’re gonna pay for that.” 

Alex chuckled and walked back into the lab where they’d been monitoring Kara’s progress in recovery.

“You want lo mein or orange beef?” 

Eliza took one last look at her adoptive daughter clinging to the CEO before following Alex “Lo mein.”   
—   
“I’m afraid to ask you what you mean by that.” Kara whispered after the tears slowed some. 

Lena leaned back and connected their foreheads. “Ask me.” 

Kara took a deep breath and whispered almost inaudibly, “ really?” 

Lena flickered a small smile and cupped Kara’s cheeks before leaning in and placing a soft and chaste kiss on the taller woman’s lips. When she drew back, their eyes met. “I don’t think we should take too many jumps when we’re both upset. I think we really have a lot that we need to talk about before -“ she cut herself off. 

“Before?” Kara’s eyes glittered with the aftermath of tears, her fingers tensing across Lena’s flank and she pulled her even closer. 

Lena’s eyes flicked between the taller woman’s eyes and lips. 

“Before we make any promises to each other.” Lena whispered. 

Kara nodded, but looked confused. 

Lena continued on, “but...I do...I do feel it Kara. I do love you.” 

Kara’s breath rushed out of her and her chin again collapsed into tears. She was unable to talk, closing her eyes and shaking her head as she desperately tried to hold back a sob. She clung to Lena as she cried back into her neck. 

“I miss you so much.” Kara admitted. 

“Okay.” Lena whispered and rubbed the hero’s back. “It’s all going to be okay. Shhhh..Kara...it’s okay.” Lena’s knees suddenly bent when Kara was unable to keep herself from lightening the load of her alien physique. “Kara...you’re heavy honey..” 

Kara’s cries shifted into hiccups and then gasps as she started to shake. 

“Kara!” Lena tried to keep her arms around the distraught woman as she collapsed onto the floor. 

“Hey!” Alex shouted as she came running through the glass door, grabbing her stethoscope off of the metal table nearby on her way. “What happened?” 

Lena leaned back a bit, giving Alex room on Kara’s flank as the hero pressed her back against the wall and her eyes closed as she gasped for breath. 

“I don’t know...she was upset, crying...and then she just -“ 

“Kara?” Alex said loudly as Eliza worked her way into the pile and shone a penlight into her daughter’s eyes. 

“Equal and responsive.” She muttered. 

Alex looked down where she’d been holding her stethoscope against her sister’s chest. “Her heart’s pounding. It’s a panic attack I think. Mom..Ativan - that cart.” She pointed to the corner. 

“What the dose?” Eliza asked as she rifled through and found a green tipped syringe they kept for Kara and grabbed the sedative vial. 

“Uhm..”Alex closed her eyes. “Let’s see..in the ER..” 

“32 .” Lena stated forcefully.

“What?” 

“She’s 4 times heavier than the average human female her size. Accounting for metabolic speed 8 times over, initial loading dose of a human injection...Kara’s dose is 32 mics per kilo.”

Eliza widened her eyes as she drew it out. “Okay.” 

Alex shook her head slightly and grinned a little as she dug her knuckle into Kara’s clavicle. “Kara? Kara try to slow your breathing...try to focus on my voice.” 

Kara turned wild eyes to Lena, showing her panic. She nodded at her sister but clutched at her chest. 

“I know.” Alex nodded. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s a panic attack Kara. You know what this is...it will go away. Mom’s getting you medicine.” As she finished, Eliza pushed the needle through a vein and pumped the sedative in. 

Within a few seconds, Kara’s respirations started to slow. Alex nodded as she listened to Kara’s heart. “That’s it...take it easy. We’re all right here.” 

“L..Le..”

“Okay, I’m here.” Lena went back and kneeled by Kara’s unoccupied side and put her hand over Kara’s chest. “I’m right here honey.” 

No one flinched at the term of endearment. 

“It’s okay..”Lena muttered, meeting the older woman’s eyes as she glanced at Alex. The doctor nodded while listening to Kara’s heart and made a hand motion for Lena to continue.

Lena swallowed audibly and leaned close to Kara’s ear as she rubbed her hand across Kara’s clavicle. “Can you hear me honey?It’s alright. We’re not going to let anything happen to you. I need you to calm down for me. Just breathe. Listen to my voice...I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Lena closed her eyes as the next words escaped just as she realized the truth of them. “I’m not going anywhere ever again.”   
—-


	7. 7

Chapter 7

“We need to get her home to sleep.” Alex muttered as the three of them huddled around the injured Kryptonian. “She’ll be out for a while.” 

Once Kara’s breathing had slowed when the panic subsided, the tears tapered and then she’d fallen asleep gripping Lena’s hand. 

“How often has this been happening?” Lena asked quietly, feeling guilt lick at her heart. 

“A lot.” Alex muttered, and then dipped her head to meet the CEO’s eyes. “Hey...a lot of it is the stress of everything going on. It’s not just that. Okay?” 

Lena nodded grimly, not entirely believing her, but accepting Alex’s seeming protection of her as well. 

“You’re giving me a lot of free passes here.” Lena offered

Eliza interjected. “No...she’s not. We all bear responsibility for this Lena. My girls most of all. No one is going to write off that you should have known about all of this a long time ago.” 

Lena nodded, swallowing a little. 

“I’ll get J’onn to-“ 

“Can we take her to my apartment?” Lena asked. 

Alex lifted her eyebrows but stayed quiet. 

Lena rolled her eyes. “She’s comfortable there and I have more room. I don’t think she should be by herself.” 

Alex nodded affirmatively, conceding. “The only things she’ll want she wakes up anyway are you and food.” 

Eliza snorted. “Go ahead and get a head start. I’ll get some electrolytes together for her and have J’onn bring her over in about half an hour.” 

Lena nodded as Alex stood, Eliza sliding in to support Kara’s side so she didn’t tip over. Lena saw Eliza’s smile as Lena struggled with the impulse to stay.

“She’ll be okay.” The older woman whispered. 

Lena nodded and furrowed her brow before reaching and rubbing Kara’s cheek. She leaned in to whisper in her ear “I’ll see you in a little bit.” 

Before she could do something foolish like kiss her cheek Lena abruptly stood and moved into the other room for her things. As she felt the sun and air while crossing the threshold of the DEO entrance, she pulled her phone to her ear. 

“Pam, it’s Lena Luthor.” 

“H-hello Ms. Luthor.” Lcorp’s HR director stuttered. 

“Listen Pam, I changed my mind. I’m going to need a new assistant - not just security outside of my office. Can you assign a good one to me immediately? I need some things delivered to my home.” 

“Yes of course Ms. Luthor.” 

“Pam.” Lena sighed, trying to recapture her focus as head of Lcorp. “Please stop calling me Ms. Luthor..okay? We’ve worked together for a long time.” 

Pam’s smile came through the phone. “Alright. Lena. I have a doctoral student that is working full time as an admin in the lab to put herself through school. How’s that?” 

Lena furrowed her brow “What field?” 

“Bio mechanical engineering. Dr. Peters says she’s quite adept at being an EA though. Her name is Jessica Isley.” 

“Sounds good. Will you have her sign the NDA, set her up with a corporate card and give her a list of things to have messengered to my apartment if I email them to you?” 

“Right away M—-Lena.” 

“Thank you Pam.” 

Lena hung up as she acknowledged her driver, who apparently had been sitting in the car on the corner as soon as his shift restarted. 

“Jackson.” Lena began, “Have you been here since six?”

Jackson nodded. “Yes ma’am of course. I figured you’d have texted if you’d gone home and I should bring the car to your building.” 

Lena nodded, acknowledging that she was surrounded by highly capable people. “Thank you Jackson.” She sighed as she slid into the warmth of her leather back seat. It welcomed her and eased some of the stress held in her back. 

“Hope?” 

Her phone toned. “Yes?” 

“Email Pam Stivers the following list please. Heated blanket, 24 pack of Gatorade, staple groceries listed on my personal drive, 6 meals from Chef Mark, 5 women’s size medium sets of pajamas...”  
—

Lena heard the boots touch down on her balcony and turned. She’d left the wall windows open so that J’onn could come straight in. 

“Where?” He whispered, Kara tucked in his arms under a blanket, with a hoodie cinched up to protect her face from view. 

“This way.” 

Lena led him down the hall to her bedroom, where the covers were already pulled back. The martian placed his charge carefully on the soft mattress. 

“She’s been out the whole time.” He whispered. 

“Okay. Thanks J’onn. I’ve got her.” Lena whispered back. 

He smiled back but said nothing as he turned and left quietly. 

Lena sighed and sank to the bed, brushing Kara’s bangs away from her forehead. After staring for a few seconds, the CEO stood and lifted the converse off of the hero’s feet before sliding her legs under the covers. 

She undid the drawstring of the hoodie and Kara’s eyes fluttered open. 

“Hey.” Lena smiled. “There you are.” 

Kara sighed. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry.” Lena shook her head. “Not at all...okay?” Lena let her fingers slide down to rest against the older woman’s jaw. 

Kara closed her eyes and leaned into the hand, feeling Lena’s thumb stroke her cheek. 

“I feel like this must be some kind of hallucination.” 

Lena smiled a little. “No.” 

Kara blinked open her eyes and connected their stare again. 

“Are you warm? Do you want to take this off?” Lena pulled at the hoodie. 

“Actually...I think I might want to get up for a bit?” 

Lena smiled more broadly. “You’re hungry.” 

Kara let out a breath. “Starving.” 

Lena chuckled, “Well..good thing I had some takeout delivered. It got here five minutes ago.” 

Kara’s eyes lit up as she moved into a sitting position.   
—   
Lena’s cell rang just as she handed Kara a plate of Chinese takeout on the sofa. She leaned down and kissed the crown of the tall woman’s head before stepping away. She didn’t see Kara’s gaze linger after her before turning back to the television. 

“Yes?” 

“Dr. Luthor this is Jessica Isley - I’m your new admin.” 

“Hello Jessica. Thank you so much for shifting on short notice.” 

“I’m thrilled for the opportunity, Dr. Luthor.” Jessica sounded poised, something Lena greatly valued. “I’m calling because I wanted to let you know that the courier bringing over your supplies will be there in about 30 minutes. His name is Patrick - I’ve sent a photo of him to your cell. I took the liberty of uploading my contact information into your phone from our joint cloud drive. Also, Chef Mark will be hand delivering the meals you requested - estimated six pm.” 

“Um..wow. Alright.” Lena felt her eyebrows lift. “That’s quite impressive for an hour on the job Jessica.”

“Not at all ma’am. The first thing I did was read your security protocols. I understand that my principal duty is to safeguard those.” Lena again showed surprise on her face at having apparently lucked in to this assistant. 

“They’ve been hiding you in the lab?” Lena joked. 

Jessica slowed and let out a small chuckle. “I sincerely hope that you’ll find reason to be down there occasionally so I can tag along.” 

“Noted.” Lena smiled. “Send me your CV would you Jessica?” 

“Yes Dr. Luthor. Is there anything else I can do for you at the moment?” 

“I think we’re alright. I’ll text or email you as things come up. Would you please alert me if any department heads need something urgent? Otherwise, I’m going to be out of pocket for a while.” 

“Understood.” 

“Thank you Jessica.” 

“Dr. Luthor?” 

“Yes?” 

“If it’s alright, along with my CV I’d prefer to send you some background information. I don’t want there to be any confusion about my past.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Is there something you’d rather just tell me?”

Jessica’s sighed. “Yes ma’am. I want to be above board that my sister is Pamela Isley.” 

Lena paused, the name ringing but taking a few seconds to register. “From Gotham?” 

“Yes ma’am.” Jessica paused and sighed in disappointment. “I haven’t seen my sister in a really long time, since she became what they call ‘Poison Ivy’.” Jessica’s sigh came from the phone. “But I do understand if this changes your mind about me wor-“

“Jessica.” Lena interrupted, smiling a little. “You may have noticed that I have a bit of experience in the problematic sibling department.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“So let’s just take each other for ourselves, alright?” 

“Thank you Dr. Luthor.” Jessica said brightly. 

“Okay then. Anything else?” 

“No ma’am. I’ll be at my desk if you need me.” 

“Thank you Jessica.” 

Lena turned to find Kara grinning at her from the sofa.

“What?” 

Kara shook her head. “Nothing I just - I like hearing your voice when you’re amused by something.” 

Lena smiled. “Well...ditto Ms. Danvers.” 

Kara’s smile faltered. 

“What is it?” Lena tilted her head. 

“N-nothing..I..” 

“Kara.” Lena said seriously as she came over and sat on the side of the sofa. “Honey, talk to me.” 

Kara smiled grimly. “It’s just...lately when you’ve said Ms. Danvers...it wasn’t...” 

“Wasn’t a joke?” Lena smiled sadly. 

“Yea.” 

“Listen.” Lena slid down into the sofa cushion so that she was close to her best friend and patted her on the knee. “We do have a lot of talking..and a lot of healing to do. Okay? But...for today...I want you to rest. And that means you need to be comfortable. No more eggshells, okay? We’re going to be alright. You don’t have to be afraid of me Kara.” 

Kara felt a tear threatening but tried to stem it, overwrought already from all of the emotion of the day. “Alright.” She whispered. She lowered her head and fumbled with her chopsticks. 

“No good?” 

“Oh no...it’s great.”Kara jumped slightly and then shoved an extremely large portion of noodles into her mouth. “See?” 

Lena snorted. “You’re too much.” She smiled, standing and making her way to the kitchen to fetch herself a little bit of food as well.   
—

Not quite before the sun finally set, the wall phone toned and Lena stood from the breakfast bar where she’d been tapping away on her laptop. She glanced over at the sofa to see Kara fast asleep, her arm slung over her forehead and mouth open. Lena smiled at the cuteness before grasping the receiver. 

“Yes Tommy?” She offered to the security guard in the lobby. 

“Ms. Luthor. There’s a Mark Denton here to see you. With...a lot of packages. Shall I allow him up?” 

“Yes Tommy thank you.” 

“Would you like me to scan the packages ma’am?” 

“That’s not necessary but thank you for offering Tommy. Have a good night.” 

She replaced the receiver and cracked open the front door, knowing that the elevator would only open if she’d released the security measures in place. 

About 30 seconds later, the door cracked and Tommy peeked his head in. “Hi.” He whispered, immediately seeing Kara asleep on the sofa. 

Lena smiled broadly. “Hi.” 

“Okay if I bring this stuff in?” 

“Yes of course, thank you.” Lena walked toward him as he turned to push his back against the door and came in with a small dolly full of boxes. 

“Mark..”Lena chuckled. “That’s more than six meals.” 

“Not for you. I remember when you had me over here last to prep cook for her. I figured that’s what this was.” he shrugged. “If not, figured we could freeze some.” 

Lena just smiled as he wheeled the cart next to the refrigerator. 

“Family style everything.” Mark offered. “The sides are all low cal like you like them, and there’s a giant kale salad in there. It’s dry so it will keep several days. Just put some olive oil and lemon juice on it like I showed you and you’re good to go.” 

Lena watched as he loaded trays labeled “lasagna - bake 350 1 hr”, “Chicken portobello - 425 30 min,” and others into the refrigerator. 

“After three days, it goes in the freezer or in the bin okay?” 

Lena nodded. “Thank you so much Mark.” 

“Oh...one more thing.” He reached into his satchel and drew out a square container. “Figured you probably hadn’t gotten dinner if you were calling for me, and it will be late by the time any of those are ready.” He handed over a large sushi platter, with accessories rubber banded to the top. “From the one next to my place.” 

“That’s so nice of you Mark” Lena smiled. “I can’t thank you enough.” 

Mark waved at her “you just let me know what you need or if you run out of anything.” He smiled as he backed to the door. 

Lena smiled. Mark had been her personal chef since she arrived in National City - having survived not only her standards for dietary restrictions and quality, but also a background check that would make the DEO jealous. 

“Mark? I may call you to make this more of a regular thing.” 

Mark smiled brightly and flicked his eyes over to the sleeping Kryptonian. He looked back at the CEO, “That’s great news Lena.” He replied softly before stepping back out of the apartment. 

Lena walked over to the sofa and folded down to her knees next to her friend’s head. She softly ran her hand through the blonde waves until blue eyes fluttered open and Kara’s mouth clicked shut.

“Oh...uh..” Kara glanced around. 

“It’s okay. I just wanted to see if you were hungry for some dinner. Mark delivered food for us to cook but he left some sushi too for tonight.” 

Kara smiled softly, her eyes still showing fatigue. “That sounds good, yea.” When she leaned up, she winced a bit and her hand went to her ribs.

Lena stopped immediately. “What is it?” 

“I’m alright.” Kara shook her head. “It’s just....still really tender.” 

“Can’t imagine why...”Lena stood and held out her hands to help the taller woman up. “Not like I had a huge lead claw jammed up in your side yesterday.” She muttered somewhat acerbically as she turned to walk away. 

“Hey.” Kara pulled on the younger woman’s hand before she could let go and Lena spun back to her, ending up deeply in her personal space. Kara’s jaw hardened and she let her hand slide against Lena’s neck.   
Lena’s hands found purchase in Kara’s shirt across her ribs. 

“You saved me.” Kara stared into her eyes as her hand moved to cup the reddening face of the woman she loved. Kara’s eyes flicked down to Lena’s mouth. “You saved me.” She whispered.   
Lena’s eyes watered, and her mouth opened slightly but no words came to her. 

Kara smirked slightly. “Guess you’re stuck with me now.” 

Lena’s eyes flashed and she pulled at Kara’s shirt until their lips came together. After a couple seconds of tentative locks and releases, Kara firmly took control of the kiss. 

Lena’s surprise at the boldness was muted by a deep sigh in her chest as Kara wrapped around her and drew deeply into the shorter woman’s mouth. They pulled hard at each other, the kiss growing more desperate. When Kara’s arms begin to lift Lena clear off the ground, the CEO gasped and leaned back. 

They both drew heavy breaths as their eyes flashed at each other. Lena’s hands slid up to cup Kara’s face and draw their foreheads together. 

“Um...” Kara pushed out puffs of breath, her fingers pulsing into Lena’s waist as she held the woman aloft and pressed against her. 

“Y-yea.” Lena blinked, “We...” She closed her eyes and took a breath. “Jesus, Kara.” 

Kara sighed, letting Lena drift softly back down to her feet. She looked around the room and then took a step back as her gaze drew to the ground. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. I just-“ 

Lena pulled her back in and kissed her, albeit with a little more decorum. 

“Don’t ever apologize again for kissing me.” 

Kara’s eyes shot up and connected with the green depths of Lena’s.

“Alright?” 

Kara nodded in response, and whispered “okay.” 

“Let’s...”Lena looked around. “Let’s get some dinner in you okay?”   
—-  
“This is weird.”

Lena chewed on a piece of pickled ginger and peered back across the table at her friend. She didn’t respond directly though. She arched them infamous left eyebrow in question. 

“I don’t...” Kara put her chopsticks down and huffed out a breath. “This is...I’m so..stressed out sitting here. I don’t know if you hate me, if you don’t hate me...if you...I mean..really don’t hate me...” Kara ended softly, hinting at their earlier kisses. 

“I don’t hate you..I never could.” 

“Couldn’t you? That’s what you-“

“I was angry.” Lena shrugged and looked down a bit in shame. “I’m not great at angry.” 

Kara nodded, and looked down at her food. After a few seconds, she stood and went toward the floor to ceiling windows. Lena shifted in her seat to watch the taller woman. 

“I want you.” Kara whispered. 

Lena took a halting breath. 

“I’m not sure what to do with that.” The super continued “I can’t...breathe without you. And here you are, not hating me, taking care of me..and I don’t know who I am in this room anymore.” 

Lena spoke to her back. “Keep talking - what do you mean?” 

Kara radiated tension as she spoke. “I have no idea what my boundaries are. A day ago I wasn’t allowed to look at you...and now...” 

“Now?” Lena stood and took a few steps over. 

Kara stared out into the night. “Now I feel like I’m about to come apart when i look at you.” Kara’s bare feet tensed and curled, and Lena heard the floor creak from the pressure. 

“Hey..” Lena stepped closer. “Tell me what you want to hear from me. Tell me what I need to talk about.” 

“What do you want from me?” Kara’s voice was liquid with unshed tears. 

Lena swallowed, trying to shove some of her family pathology to the back of her brain. “Well first I want you to be okay - to be healthy...after what happened.” 

Kara nodded but didn’t turn. 

“Seeing as how I think your toes just put divots in my tile floors, I think you’re alright.” 

Kara shot her eyes down and in fact noticed tiny cracks in the tile. She brushed at them with her right foot.

“Beyond that...I know that I feel like I need to protect myself.That there’s all of this space where I’m not sure what the moving pieces are - not sure if there are still secrets.” 

“Not from me.” Kara shook her head. “There are things I have left to tell but not secrets - never again.” 

“What do you have left to tell?” 

“All of it?” Kara muttered. “It’s um...some of it is...” 

“What?” 

“Intimate? I guess is the right word?”

Lena took a breath and felt a blush warm her neck. She slid backwards onto her sofa. 

“I’m listening.” 

Kara walked further away, right up to the glass of the patio wall rather than joining Lena on the sofa. 

“I’ve never...” Kara sighed, “I’ve never really felt like I’ve been with someone...completely.” She swallowed. “I’ve never given anyone as many parts of myself as I’ve given you. And I’m sure that sounds like total crap to you since-“

“Which parts?”

“ There have been times, where I stay over, or you do and we’re....we’re in the same bed...” Kara faltered as they both blushed, “And I...I feel myself go completely quiet. There’s usually something inside of me...the powers...I can’t explain it. It’s like a constant hum. A noise - all the noises. They echo in my ears, they sing along my skin. I can hear for miles. I can see six layers of everything...I can hear the wings flutter on the fly that’s in your downstairs neighbor’s kitchen right now.”

Lena furrowed her brow, trying to imagine how excruciating that would be - it would drive a person insane. 

“When I’m with you...only when I’m with you...”Kara put a hand on the glass wall, “in that bed...I can turn it off. All I hear is you. All I feel and see is you.” The taller woman swallowed. “I don’t know why it’s like that, but...I’m not sure I can live without that anymore.” 

Lena nodded. “I don’t want you to have to.” 

Kara choked a little on what sounded like a half sob. “I couldn’t tell you how I felt...without telling you I’m an alien. And I couldn’t tell you I’m an alien without supergirl, and then you’d leave me. And that would break me because of how I felt...I can’t..I couldn’t..” 

“I understand.” Lena stood and moved behind the super. “I get that now.”

“I need you to forgive me Lena. I need it..I can’t..I can’t explain -“ 

Lena pulled on Kara’s elbow until they were facing each other. 

“I forgive you.” Lena said emphatically, leaning up to lay her face in the crook of Kara’s neck so closely that her lips found purchase on the pulse point. “I need you to forgive me too.” 

Kara nodded. “I do...I never...felt like there was anything to forgive. It’s all been my-“

“You aren’t responsible for my decisions Kara.” Lena said, leaning back. “They were bad - some of them...awful. I do need to be accountable and I do need to make up for the things I did to you.” 

Kara shook her head in the negative. 

“What else?” 

Kara blushed. “I’m worried.” 

“What are you worried about baby?” Lena accidentally let the endearment slip as she stepped closer and put her hand on the blonde’s clavicle. 

Kara’s hear thundered. “I...I don’t know how you’ll feel about being with me...if you decide you want to be with me..” 

“I thought we covered this.We’ve got things to work on but—“ 

“That’s not what I mean.”

Lena furrowed her brow and let her hands rest on Kara’s stomach above her belt line. 

“Okay.” Lena nodded. “Tell me.” 

Kara winced. “I’m an alien.” 

“And?”

“Things aren’t the...same...I’m not...made the same.” 

Lena’s memory flashed to the rib cage she’d glimpsed before, how the cartilage went in the opposite direction and there appeared to be webbing of bones that kept her internal organs hidden. 

“Let’s talk about it.” Lena offered. “I’m a scientist Kara - it’s going to take a lot to surprise -“ 

“I don’t have a spleen.” 

Lena’s eyebrows raised slightly but not much. 

“What you call your kidneys...I have 3 three...and they also filter our blood to prevent infection.” 

Lena made a face. “That’s kind of awesome.” She smiled a little and encouraged Kara to continue. 

“I...” Kara searched for other things. She held up a hand “I don’t have fingerprints.” 

Lena grabbed her hand, not believing that she’d never noticed in all the times that she’d held Kara. Sure enough, there were ridges in her fingertips but they were uniform and even across the digits.   
“I have 14 fewer bones than you do...my eyesight on Krypton was still twice what you’re capable of here...and we have three lobes of the brain.” 

Lena’s eyes bulged. 

“I’m not doing an MRI.” 

“But Kara - “ 

“Alex has tried for years...” 

Lena huffed. 

“There’s more.” Lena noticed Kara’s demeanor turned inward and she seemed to be embarrassed. 

“Alright.” 

“Um...we uh...our reproduction is different.” 

“The birthing matrix. I read in Lex’s journals- “ 

“Yes but...well, that’s not....we also have interchangeable organs.” 

“Pardon?” Lena leaned back. 

“Every Kryptonian is born with a demonstrative sex. A reproductive cycle dominant male or female.” 

“Okay.” 

“But...also, we can simulate the organs of the other sex, with reproductive capability...at will.” 

Lena frowned. “You mean...you can produce the other sex’s organs at will...like..permanently, or -“

“Completely at will. To come and go.” 

“Um..”Lena let that sink in a bit. “Is there an evolutionary imperative in that-“ 

Kara shrugged. “On Krypton, we didn’t have as strict of gender identification or mating heteronormativity.” She turned and looked at the dark haired woman. “Science taught us that it could make us all more attractive to whichever mates were chosen for us by the matrix.” 

Lena nodded, trying to not to look toward Kara’s crotch. “So you’re telling me...that you can..” 

“Yea.” Kara whispered. 

“So Superman could...” 

“Have Lois’s baby...yea.” 

Lena snorted at that and looked away. “Well, from a scientific point of view, that is highly evolved...it’s amazing.” 

Kara didn’t say anything. 

“You’re worried about how I’ll react to that?” 

Kara nodded, tears starting to get her in her eyes. 

“Well....”Lena smirked a little as she leaned in.. “seems to me...given that you know that I’m bisexual, that’s about the most perfect thing you ever could have told me...”

Kara snorted. “R-really?”

“Not to be crass...” Leans let a fingertip run across the older woman’s throat. “But...that’s the best of both worlds if you ask me.” 

Kara grinned slightly, but a tear slid out and ran down her cheek. 

“Kara.” Lena whispered, and then pulled her face in and kissed her. When she pulled back, she left her hand on the older woman’s jaw and sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Kara warbled. 

“I don’t want you to be scared of me.” 

“Not you...of not having you.” 

Lena throat bobbed when she swallowed, and she shook her head a little. “You already have me Kara.” Lena’s resigned herself that it was too late to protect herself from the free fall. It had been too late from the moment she knew that Kara loved her. 

Kara held on as tightly as she dared and took some calming breaths. Her stomach rumbled, causing Lena to chuckle against her. 

“I don’t think that thing is happy that you’re refusing it the sushi.” 

Kara chuckled and leaned back. “I’m sorry - I don’t mean to make things so heavy.”

“It’s alright.” Lena nodded. “This is what we have to do to talk it all out and heal. It’s going to be okay. It won’t always be this heavy.” 

The super stomach rumbled again and Lena smiled as she pulled her back to the table. 

Three bites into her spicy tuna, Kara mumbled without looking up. 

“Are we in a relationship now?”

Lena seemed unfazed by the question, not pausing as she slid a piece of a roll in her mouth after asking “I think so. Is that how it feels to you?” 

Kara’s face took on some resolve. “Yes. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend.” 

Lena smiled as she chewed and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “Sounds good.”


End file.
